The loss of a parent can instil a profound grief that is unlike any pain you may have felt before. Whether the loss was unexpected or you had been caring for them in their final moments, coming to terms with the fact that they are no longer by your side can create conflicting emotions. 

You may experience shock, anger or even regret. That’s why Waters & Sons have put together a few ideas on how to make the grief more bearable.

Remember that everybody grieves differently

When you are grieving, it can be tempting to compare the way you feel to those around you. This is entirely normal, but so is expressing your emotions in a different way.

Everyone grieves differently. You may take longer to process the death, feel it more intensely than those around you. But your relationship with your parent was entirely unique, and there is no right way to process that lost connection.

Take time to breathe

The empty space that a lost parent leaves may never feel filled and the immediate grieving process can be intense. It may be tempting to distract yourself practically by putting extra time in at work, concentrating on the funeral or even pushing the feelings to the back of your mind so you don’t have to experience the pain.

Unfortunately, even though this may feel like the easiest route, it is not a healthy way to cope with your emotions.

Take some time to process the loss amongst loved ones, to take care of yourself and allow those who love you to take care of you too.

You are never too old to grieve

As you get older, you may feel that it is less appropriate for you to feel such intense pain over a lost parent because they aren’t your caregiver anymore. But this is a complete fallacy.

Your relationship to your parents is one of the strongest you are likely to feel in your lifetime and this doesn’t disappear as you age. You are never too old to feel upset, angry or even guilty about their passing and you’re allowed to grieve in any way necessary.

Share memories

One of the best ways to manage grief is to share fond memories of your childhood spent with them. Focus on the unconditional love shared between you. The times they spent trying to make you smile.

Give yourself the opportunity to celebrate their life, and remember just how lucky you were to have been cherished by them.

Stick to a routine

It’s important to keep your usual routine and not fall into unhealthy habits. This will help you keep a sense of structure in your life during this uncertain time. You may also find that keeping weekend plans with your friends provides a sense of solace.

Seek grief counselling

At Waters and Sons, we know that your relationship with your mum or dad might not have been a stable one. In this instance, processing the complex emotions you feel can be harder to deal with.

Remember, there are always services out there that are designed to help you through this difficult time.

The charity Mind has a list of contacts that could help you through a crisis, but you could also seek the services of a bereavement counsellor in your area to discuss conflicting emotions.

Because Waters & Sons are aware that arranging a funeral on top of this can take its toll, we offer a 24 hour support service. Please feel free to contact us at any time.