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How to arrange funeral flowers

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 09:05:45 GMT

Flowers are a traditional way to express condolences and sympathy to the bereaved family. They convey an unspoken message of care, support, and love during a difficult time. Plus, as funerals are increasingly becoming more ‘celebrations of life’, funeral flowers can also contribute to this celebratory aspect by adding colour, vibrancy, and a sense of vitality to the surroundings.

At Water and Sons , we’ve put together a step-by-step guide to help you arrange a floral tribute that reflect your loved one in a respectful and personalised way:

1. Select the type of flowers

Choose flowers that hold significance or were favourites of the deceased. Common choices include roses, lilies, carnations, chrysanthemums, and gladioli. Be mindful to consider the colour scheme and any specific preferences or cultural customs associated with your loved one.

2. Determine the arrangement style

Common options include standing sprays, wreaths, casket sprays, floral baskets, or vase arrangements. The choice often depends on personal preference, religious or cultural traditions, and the location where the flowers will be displayed.

3. Gather necessary materials

You will need a pair of sharp floral scissors or shears, floral foam (if using), floral tape, waterproof containers (if necessary), ribbons, and any additional decorative elements such as foliage or ferns.

4. Prepare the flowers

Trim the stems at a slight angle to allow for better water absorption. Remove any foliage or thorns that would be below the waterline. If using floral foam, be sure to soak it in water until fully saturated.

5. Create the base

For arrangements like wreaths or standing sprays, use floral foam to provide a stable base. Cut the foam to fit the container and secure it with floral tape or pins. If using a vase or basket, skip this step.

6. Begin arranging

Start with the focal flowers, such as roses or lilies, and place them evenly around the base. Create a visually pleasing shape, considering the height, colour, and texture of the flowers. Add different varieties of flowers gradually, spacing them out evenly.

7. Add foliage and fillers

Use greenery and foliage to fill in any gaps and add volume to the arrangement. Consider using ferns, ivy, or leather leaf as fillers. Add smaller flowers like baby's breath or carnations to enhance the overall composition.

8. Maintain symmetry

Keep the arrangement balanced by distributing flowers and foliage evenly on both sides. Step back occasionally to evaluate the arrangement from different angles and make adjustments as needed.

9. Personalise with ribbons or accessories

Attach ribbons, bows, or personalised banners to the arrangement if desired. You can include a message, the name of the deceased, or a symbol that holds significance. Many also like to add a touching tribute in the form of a message card.

10. Transport and display

Carefully move the arrangement to the designated location, ensuring it is secure and stable. Place it in an appropriate area, such as near the casket, at the altar, or at the graveside, following the customs and guidelines of the funeral venue.

Remember, if you're unsure or would like professional assistance, you can always reach out to us here at Water and Sons . We’ve got decades of experience to prove the guidance and help you need to create a beautiful display of funeral flowers that honour your loved one's memory. Be sure to also check out our floral tribute brochure for a wide variety of fitting flowers that have been specially arranged to suit a plethora of preferences.

How to choose funeral flowers

1. Consider the relationship

Think about your relationship with the deceased and their family. If you were close to the person who passed away, you may want to choose flowers that hold personal significance or were their favourites. If you're selecting flowers on behalf of a group or organisation, consider their relationship and the collective preferences.

2. Cultural and religious customs

Take into account any cultural or religious customs associated with funerals. Different cultures and religions may have specific flower preferences or symbolic meanings. Research or consult with family members to ensure that your choice aligns with their traditions.

3. Symbolism and meaning

Flowers often carry symbolic meanings, and choosing flowers with specific meanings can add depth to your tribute. Commonly chosen funeral flowers and their meanings include:

Lilies : Symbolise innocence, purity, and the soul's restored innocence.

Roses : Carry various meanings depending on the colour. Red roses symbolise love and respect, while white roses represent purity and innocence.

Carnations : Traditionally used for remembrance and love. Red carnations can symbolise admiration, while white carnations can represent pure love and innocence.

Chrysanthemums : Commonly associated with funerals in many cultures, symbolising death, grief, and honour.

Gladioli : Represent strength of character, moral integrity, and sincerity.

Orchids : Symbolise love, beauty, and strength.

4. Colour choice

Consider the colour scheme when selecting funeral flowers. Different colours evoke different emotions and can convey various messages. Common choices include white, which symbolises purity and innocence, and red, which signifies love and respect. Soft and muted colours like pastels can also create a serene and comforting atmosphere.

5. Budget and practicality

Consider your budget when selecting funeral flowers. Flowers can vary significantly in price, and it's important to choose something that fits within your means. Additionally, consider practical aspects like the size of the arrangement, transportation logistics, and the preferences of the deceased or their family.

Remember, the most important aspect of choosing funeral flowers is the thought and sentiment behind your selection. Your gesture of sympathy and support will be appreciated by the bereaved, regardless of the specific flowers you choose, however if you’d like some expert advice, or help planning a funeral then please contact us at Water and Sons .

Looking to make a funeral more bespoke? Check out 8 ways to personalise a funeral!

How to cope with the death of a partner

Fri, 05 May 2023 09:01:47 GMT

Dealing with the death of a partner can be an incredibly difficult and painful experience. At Water and Sons , we want to support you in the best way we can, that’s why we’ve put together some suggestions that may help make the next few months that little easier.

1. Allow yourself to grieve

It's important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to feel sad, angry, or any other emotion that may come up. It's okay to take time to process your feelings and emotions.

2. Seek support

Talk to family, friends, or a professional counsellor about what you are going through. Joining a support group or speaking with a grief specialist can also be helpful in processing your emotions.

3. Take care of yourself

When you’re feeling immense feelings of grief it can be easy to neglect self care. Make sure you are taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Try to maintain a healthy diet, exercise, and get enough sleep.

4. Keep memories alive

Remember your partner by talking about them, sharing stories, or creating a memorial. This can help keep their memory alive and provide comfort during difficult times.

5. Seek professional help if needed

If you find yourself struggling with depression or other mental health concerns, seek professional help from a therapist or psychiatrist.

Remember that grieving is a process and it may take time to heal. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time and space to heal in your own way.

6. Live fully in the present

While it's important to prepare for death, it's also important to live fully in the present moment and appreciate the time you have with your loved ones.

Remember that preparing for death is a process, and it's okay to take your time and approach it in a way that feels right for you.

How to spend last days with a loved one

If you are facing the prospect of spending the last days with a loved one, here are some suggestions for making the most of this precious time together.

1. Focus on the present

Try to be fully present with your loved one, focusing on the time you have together right now. Avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

2. Share your feelings

This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it's important to express your love, gratitude, and any regrets you may have. Share your memories and what your loved one has meant to you.

3. Do things you enjoy

If your loved one is able, spend time doing things you both enjoy. This might include watching a favourite movie, listening to music, or just chatting about shared interests.

4. Consider therapy or counselling

If you're struggling to cope with the situation, consider seeking professional support. A therapist or counsellor can help you process your emotions and provide guidance on how to make the most of your time together.

5. Take care of yourself

It's important to prioritise your own self-care during this time. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. It's okay to take breaks and step away to recharge.

Remember that everyone copes with grief and loss differently. There's no right or wrong way to spend these last days with your loved one. What's most important is that you're able to cherish the time you have together and find comfort in the love and connection you share. Plus, there are always services out there that are designed to help you through this difficult time.

The charity Mind has a list of contacts that could help you through a crisis, but you could also seek the services of a bereavement counsellor in your area to discuss conflicting emotions.

Because Waters & Sons are aware that arranging a funeral on top of this can take its toll, we offer a 24 hour support service. Please feel free to contact us at any time.

How to prepare for death

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 15:48:20 GMT

Preparing for death is a deeply personal and individual process that can involve many different aspects of life, including physical, emotional, spiritual, and practical considerations. At Water and Sons , we understand just how difficult this time can be, so we’re on hand with some suggestions that may help you through the process.

1. Accept the reality of death

Death is an inevitable part of life, and accepting this fact can help you to begin to prepare for it.

2. Reflect on your values and beliefs

Take some time to think about what is most important to you in life and what kind of legacy you would like to leave behind.

3. Communicate your wishes

It's important to let your loved ones know your wishes for end-of-life care, funeral arrangements, and other important decisions.

4. Consider seeking spiritual or emotional support

Many people find comfort in seeking support from their faith community, a therapist, or a support group.

5. Make practical arrangements

This can include creating a will, updating your insurance policies, and making sure that important documents are organised and easily accessible.

6. Live fully in the present

While it's important to prepare for death, it's also important to live fully in the present moment and appreciate the time you have with your loved ones.

Remember that preparing for death is a process, and it's okay to take your time and approach it in a way that feels right for you.

How to talk to people about dying

Talking about dying can be a difficult and sensitive topic, but it's important to have these conversations with loved ones or medical professionals to ensure that end-of-life wishes are respected and to provide comfort and support to those involved.

1. Choose the right time and place

Make sure to have the conversation in a private and comfortable setting where you and the other person feel safe and relaxed.

2. Be honest and direct

Avoid using euphemisms and speak openly about the topic. Be honest about your own feelings and concerns, but also be prepared to listen to the other person's thoughts and emotions.

3. Use "I" statements

Speak from your own perspective and avoid blaming or accusing language. For example, "I am worried about what will happen when you're no longer here" instead of "You're making me worried about what will happen when you're gone."

4. Ask open-ended questions

Encourage the other person to share their thoughts and feelings by asking open-ended questions like, "How do you feel about what's happening?" or "What are your concerns?"

5. Respect the other person's wishes

If the other person does not want to talk about dying or end-of-life issues, respect their wishes and try to find another way to support them.

6. Offer support and resources

Let the other person know that you are there for them and offer to help in any way you can. Provide them with resources such as books or websites that may help them understand the dying process and cope with their emotions.

Remember, talking about dying is an important conversation that can help both you and the other person prepare for the end of life.

How to plan your own funeral

Planning your own funeral can seem like a daunting and emotional task, but it can provide peace of mind and comfort to both yourself and your loved ones. Here are some steps to help you plan your own funeral, whether that be a no service funeral , a low cost funeral or a bespoke funeral.

Decide on burial or cremation

Think about whether you want to be buried or cremated, and discuss this with your loved ones. Consider religious or cultural traditions, personal preferences, and any environmental concerns.

Check out our helpful guides:

What happens at a burial service?

What happens at a cremation service?

Choose a funeral home

Research funeral homes in your area and choose one that meets your needs and budget. Consider factors such as location, services offered, and reputation.

Plan the ceremony

Decide what type of ceremony you want and what you want included, such as your registrar , crematoria , reception venue , funeral music , readings, flowers and speeches. Consider whether you want a traditional or non-traditional ceremony, and discuss this with your loved ones.

Choose a casket or urn

If you have chosen burial, select a casket that fits your budget and preferences. If you have chosen cremation, choose an urn that reflects your personality and preferences.

Arrange for transportation

If you have chosen burial, consider whether you want a funeral procession or other transportation arrangements. If you have chosen cremation, consider whether you want your ashes scattered or interred.

Decide on a final resting place

If you have chosen burial, consider where you want to be buried and what type of grave marker you want. If you have chosen cremation, consider where you want your ashes to be scattered or interred.

Check out our advice on scattering ashes !

Communicate your wishes

Make sure to communicate your funeral plans with your loved ones and provide them with a copy of your funeral plan and order of service . This will ensure that your wishes are respected and followed after you pass away.

Remember, planning your own funeral is a personal and individual process, so take the time to consider your options and make choices that feel right for you.

If you’re located in Southampton, Portchester or surrounding areas then you may want to consider us, here at Water and Sons , an independent family run funeral directors in Southampton offering tailored funerals, transparent pricing and 24/7 support during your difficult time.

Coping with the death of a parent

Wed, 15 Feb 2023 21:14:56 GMT

The loss of a parent can instil a profound grief that is unlike any pain you may have felt before. Whether the loss was unexpected or you had been caring for them in their final moments, coming to terms with the fact that they are no longer by your side can create conflicting emotions.

You may experience shock, anger or even regret. That’s why Waters & Sons have put together a few ideas on how to make the grief more bearable.

Remember that everybody grieves differently

When you are grieving, it can be tempting to compare the way you feel to those around you. This is entirely normal, but so is expressing your emotions in a different way.

Everyone grieves differently. You may take longer to process the death, feel it more intensely than those around you. But your relationship with your parent was entirely unique, and there is no right way to process that lost connection.

Take time to breathe

The empty space that a lost parent leaves may never feel filled and the immediate grieving process can be intense. It may be tempting to distract yourself practically by putting extra time in at work, concentrating on the funeral or even pushing the feelings to the back of your mind so you don’t have to experience the pain.

Unfortunately, even though this may feel like the easiest route, it is not a healthy way to cope with your emotions.

Take some time to process the loss amongst loved ones, to take care of yourself and allow those who love you to take care of you too.

You are never too old to grieve

As you get older, you may feel that it is less appropriate for you to feel such intense pain over a lost parent because they aren’t your caregiver anymore. But this is a complete fallacy.

Your relationship to your parents is one of the strongest you are likely to feel in your lifetime and this doesn’t disappear as you age. You are never too old to feel upset, angry or even guilty about their passing and you’re allowed to grieve in any way necessary.

Share memories

One of the best ways to manage grief is to share fond memories of your childhood spent with them. Focus on the unconditional love shared between you. The times they spent trying to make you smile.

Give yourself the opportunity to celebrate their life, and remember just how lucky you were to have been cherished by them.

Stick to a routine

It’s important to keep your usual routine and not fall into unhealthy habits. This will help you keep a sense of structure in your life during this uncertain time. You may also find that keeping weekend plans with your friends provides a sense of solace.

Seek grief counselling

At Waters and Sons, we know that your relationship with your mum or dad might not have been a stable one. In this instance, processing the complex emotions you feel can be harder to deal with.

Remember, there are always services out there that are designed to help you through this difficult time.

The charity Mind has a list of contacts that could help you through a crisis, but you could also seek the services of a bereavement counsellor in your area to discuss conflicting emotions.

Because Waters & Sons are aware that arranging a funeral on top of this can take its toll, we offer a 24 hour support service. Please feel free to contact us at any time.

Eco-Friendlier Alternatives to Balloon Releases

Wed, 25 Jan 2023 16:24:27 GMT

A balloon release is a popular memorial ceremony performed by people all over the world. Many see it as a symbol of love, hope and letting go. At Water & Sons , we understand that when someone dies it’s a natural instinct for us to find ways to stay connected, however this tradition has a significant harmful implication on the planet.

As your balloon soars into the sky it can be easy to forget the journey it’s about to embark on. These balloons land in trees, wires and poles, meaning birds and wildlife can become tangled, and at worse even strangled. These undisposed balloons end up in oceans, along shores and across the countryside, wildlife can then confuse pieces of balloon for food and lead to internal injury.

Balloons are a huge contributor to our plastic pollution problem. While they take moments to release, they take hundreds of years to biodegrade.

Alternatives to Balloon Releases

If you’re looking for balloon release alternatives to pay a special tribute to your lost one there are still plenty of ways that will provide that same feeling of letting go, without the damaging impact on the ecosystem.

1/ Wildflower Seed Bombs

Seed bombs are small balls crafted from a mixture of wildflower seeds, clay and compost. You can scatter them over flower beds, allotment patches or your garden. As they break down they scatter seeds in a more random arrangement to create a sea of stunning flowers for a beautiful memory and nod to your loved one. Your wildlife friends will love you too; enticing and providing food for butterflies, bees and other insects.

You can easily make your own wildflower seed bombs or purchase them from your local garden centre. Be sure to check permission before spreading if you wish to add to an existing wildflower meadow or memorable public place.

2/ Releasing Bubbles

If you’re looking to re-create the same balloon release impact, then consider swapping them out for bubbles. Blowing bubbles into the sky can look just as impactful and still provide the sense of letting go, but without the long-lasting harm.

You can create your own using eco-friendly soap or washing-up liquid, or you can purchase bubble wands and machines, just be sure to dispose of plastic properly afterwards.

We would recommend using different kinds of wands to create bubbles of different sizes to showcase a more lively display.

3/ Petals Down the Stream

Memorial releases are not just bound to the air; the sea, rivers and streams can be great places to gather and remember. However you must be so careful what you release into the water, that’s why we suggest scattering natural rose petals, or thoughtful messages on biodegradable paper.

Writing out memories or simple words can make their send off easier. This could be anything from saying the word ‘goodbye’ to ‘it’s been a pleasure knowing you’, or even using a humorous greeting that they were known for.

4/ Planting Trees or Flowers

If you want to create a long-lasting memory for your loved one then planting their favourite shrub, tree or flower in a remembrance spot in your garden, or memorable place, can be the perfect way. You can host a ceremony, or celebration of life around it. Taking turns to dig out a section of the ground can mean you all play a part.

Some like to bury something personal alongside the plant, like a necklace or ring, for a more significant, personal impact. Symbolic of lasting life, planting a memorial tree provides family and friends with a place to visit, and spend time. A place to feel close to their lost one.

People also find it comforting to scatter ashes during the plant, marking it as a memorial for life.

Whether this is your first loss, or you need some extra support, be sure to read our advice on scattering ashes for helpful information before your memorial.

We understand how important personal touches are, that’s why we give you full autonomy over every detail including the hearse and coffin . We also offer the option to turn ashes into keepsake jewellery with Ashes into Glass , so you have a memory to last forever.

For further information regarding how Waters & Sons can help pay fitting tribute to your loved one, please feel free to contact us at any time.

How to tribute a loved one at Christmas

Tue, 15 Nov 2022 15:52:43 GMT

The lack of a loved one’s presence is often felt most intensely around the festive season, but this can make it the perfect time to pay tribute to all the wonderful times you spent celebrating together over the years.

The time may be tinged with sadness, but Waters & Sons wanted to explain how you can remember a loved one at Christmas with poignancy, respect and even joy.

Play their favourite Christmas song

If your loved one had a favourite Christmas song, then take a moment to sit together as a family and listen to the words that brought them joy at this time of year. Music connects us together through a feeling that can be captured even more powerfully when it is tethered to memories of your loved one.

Watch their favourite christmas film

Gather your family together and watch a Christmas film that was special to your loved one. If you’re not able to be together, then you could arrange a day to watch the film at the same time, or set up a video chat. This will allow you to share the experience wherever you are.

Have a glass of their favourite drink

Choose to raise a glass of your loved one’s favourite festive drink, and take it in turns to make a toast about their life. This can be a touching way of dedicating your time and thoughts to them, whilst sharing hopeful memories in their absence.

Attend a memorial service

Many places of worship hold memorial services in December that allow you the time and space to reflect on those you’ve lost. Here, you’ll be able to light a candle in their name and show them that you’re thinking of their life, even though they are no longer with you.

Set their place at the dinner table

If you have only recently lost someone this year, then spending Christmas without them can feel raw. But setting a place at the dinner table as you have your Christmas meal can give you a sense of peace.

Before you start eating, choose to have a moment of silence amongst your family to honour the years you enjoyed a meal together.

Be mindful that there may be family members who find it too difficult having a reminder of their absence in the room, and check with everyone attending that this is the way you all wish to pay tribute to their memory.

Visit a significant place

You could decide to take a few hours out of your day to visit their gravestone, final resting spot or somewhere that held a special place in their heart. Another lovely idea would be to take a family trip to their favourite walking spot and lay a tribute along the route to commemorate their dedication to the area.

Make a dedicated Christmas decoration

This could be a wreath that you hang on your front door, a Christmas tree decoration or anything else that you think would be fitting.

There is poignancy in crafting something that connects you to their memory. It can make it seem as though they are still present in your home. This might not work for everyone, but it could help you feel as though they’re not truly missing from your festivities.

Share memories

Christmas is a time to be with family, when memories are made and laughter is shared in abundance. When grief takes hold, it can be difficult to remember the laughter without melancholy, but you may find comfort in sharing the special moments with the people around you of the times you smiled, cried and ate together over a Christmas meal.

Your combined love for the person you’ve lost might also create a Christmas atmosphere that feels reminiscent and even more special, knowing you were able to spend so many December’s in the presence of someone you loved so deeply.

Experiencing grief is incredibly personal and can be made even tougher to process when it coincides with Christmas. That’s why Waters & Sons offer a 24 hour personalised support service. If you’ve lost someone you love, please feel free to contact us at any time.

Advice on scattering ashes

Wed, 19 Oct 2022 13:09:00 GMT

Scattering ashes is a personal, intimate and tremendously healing way of commemorating the life of your loved one. It can bring about closure and allow you to say goodbye in a far more open and freeing way than a funeral.

If you’re considering scattering the ashes of someone you’ve recently lost, then this guide from Waters & Sons provides you with all the legal advice you require before deciding the most appropriate course of action.

Where can you scatter ashes?

In the UK, you can scatter ashes almost anywhere, as long as you have the permission of the landowner. This could be on green land, at sea or in a cemetery or graveyard.

It is likely that the reason you are scattering ashes is because the location held a special place in your loved one’s heart, therefore it is entirely your prerogative to choose the location.

Popular places to scatter ashes include:

Garden of remembrance
In a public park
On National Trust land
At sea/in a river
In a garden or garden planter, where they will contribute to new life
On the beach or over a cliff

Do you need permission to scatter ashes?

You don’t need permission to scatter ashes on your own land, at sea or over a different body of water. However, if you do choose to lay your loved one to rest on a body of water, you should seek advice from the environmental agency.

If you wish to scatter ashes over public or private land then you first need to acquire permission from the landowner.

Scattering ashes at sea

Scattering ashes at sea or in a flowing river is commonplace in certain faiths to commemorate the sacred purpose of the body. The practice has also been widely adapted in the UK as a way to celebrate the life of a loved one, and reconnect them with nature.

If you or your loved one want their ashes to be scattered at sea, you need to make sure:

You don’t scatter ashes near a marina or fishery

The site is further than 1km upstream from a water plant or reservoir

That you choose a calm day so the ashes are not caught by the wind and blown elsewhere

Can You scatter ashes on a grave?

Some cemeteries allow scattering of ashes in designated areas of the site, but you need to check directly with the cemetery or crematorium.

If you own a plot of land at a cemetery then you should be able to scatter ashes as you please within the area, as long as you own the exclusive burial rights for the grave.

scattering ashes ceremony?

Holding a small ceremony when you scatter your loved one’s ashes can be a wonderful way of celebrating their life and gaining a semblance of closure. Returning to a place that they loved to lay them to rest, and share stories can even provide more comfort to grievers than a cremation service.

How you hold your ceremony, where you hold it and what you say when scattering their ashes are entirely up to you. You could choose to nominate a single speaker, or take it in turns to say a few words about your loved one.

How long after a cremation can you scatter ashes?

There is no ideal time to scatter ashes after your loved one’s cremation. Some people choose to scatter them immediately to gain closure for both them and the deceased, others may find it too painful to let go of them too soon.

Your loved one’s ashes can remain in their urn forever, so you don’t have to scatter them until you feel ready. You may also decide that you prefer having them close, and that scattering their ashes isn’t something you want to do. This is perfectly fine as long as this wish is met by those who loved them.

However, after your loved one is cremated you will be given a set number of days or weeks to collect them from the crematorium.

At Waters & Sons, we understand that planning a loved one’s cremation can be distressing, but we are here to hold your hand through every step of the process, from the moment you contact us to the second you take their ashes home. To help you understand what happens at a cremation service , we have created a guide that contains all the advice you need.

For further information regarding how Waters & Sons can help pay fitting tribute to your loved one by guiding you through the cremation process, please feel free to contact us at any time.

What is Embalming?

Thu, 15 Sep 2022 15:28:52 GMT

If you are making funeral arrangements for someone close to you, you may be thinking about embalming. If this is a concept totally new to you, or you have questions regarding the embalming process then this guide is for you. At Water & Sons ’ our ethos centres on our care and personal service supporting you from the first point of contact to the day itself.

What does it mean to embalm a body?

Embalming is the process of preserving a body by delaying the natural effects of death. Specialist embalming solutions are used on the body of your loved one to enhance their colour and appearance, making them look more peaceful and at rest. If a body is going to be viewed, embalming specialists will usually fix their hair, make up and often dress them in their favourite clothes too, depending on the requests of family.

Is body embalming important?

Embalming a body is a common funeral practice that is used by funeral directors all over the world to preserve the body of the deceased. Whether it’s an open casket funeral or a family wish to spend more time with a loved one, many people find viewing a body in such a way helps put family members at peace, seeing them in a more lifelike state.

Other reasons for choosing embalming include:

A person may have requested it before they passed
It’s part of a prepaid funeral plan
If the body needs to be repatriated
If there is a delay with the funeral

How long does funeral embalming take?

The embalming process takes around two hours. You may be asked to provide a photo or advice. This can be useful when applying make-up and styling their hair, to help make them represent how they looked in life.

How long does it last?

There is no winning structure for a eulogy, and it can depend on the tone of voice you’ve settled on.

Embalming is not permanent as it only delays the natural process of death. Usually, it will preserve the body for around a week, however temperature conditions and other factors may affect this.

Can a person be buried or cremated without being embalmed?

Yes, embalming is not required for a burial.

Is embalming required by law?

While in most cases there isn’t a legal requirement to embalm a body there are some exceptions, for instance if your loved one needs to travel abroad for the funeral or have died from an infectious disease.

Can a body be viewed without being embalmed?

Yes, but be aware there could be a shorter time frame in which you are able to visit your loved one. However, if you choose not to embalm, our funeral home can still prepare your loved one for a viewing. This will consist of washing their hair and body, dressing them, and setting their features to a natural expression if this is what you wish for.

If you require any more information on how Waters and Sons can support you through this difficult time, feel free to contact us. Alternatively, check out our Arranging a Funeral Guide for valuable advice.

How to Write a Eulogy

Fri, 05 Aug 2022 13:17:55 GMT

Writing a eulogy can feel like saying your final goodbye to someone you love, which means it’s incredibly difficult to think rationally when piecing it together. You might have found yourself at a loss for words, or are struggling to figure out where to start.

Eulogies don’t have to be perfect and can reflect the life of your loved one however you wish for them to be remembered. If you’re struggling to put pen to paper and express how you feel, then Waters & Sons have put together a few tips to help you along the way.

Talk to loved ones

Writing a eulogy by yourself can be overwhelming. With the help of loved ones, and by reminiscing over memories, you may find it much easier to find inspiration. Try having a cup of tea and recall the funny moments, the resplendent days and times that they brought light into your life.

A sk them what they would like said about their friend/relative and incorporate this in the speech. You may find yourself reminded of stories that hadn’t occurred to you before.

T alking to loved ones will also give you a clearer picture of the key moments in the person’s life, such as their younger years, the school they went to, or what they were like as a parent. This process can also be a fantastic way of processing your grief.

Tone of voice

The tone of the eulogy is entirely up to you. It could be celebratory, or solemn, larger than life or quiet. You’ll also need to decide if you want the eulogy to be formal or lighthearted.

T he easiest way to determine the tone of voice for a eulogy is to echo the personality of your loved one. Think about how they would tell the story of their life. Would they want to be remembered for their kindness, gentle temperament or sense of humour?

Y ou should also consider who will be attending the funeral, and allow this to inform the delivery of the eulogy.

O nce you have decided on a tone, then it should be easier to put your thoughts into words.

Narrow it down

Eulogies usually last between 3-5 minutes, so you might not have the chance to say everything you want to about your loved one’s life. Narrowing down anecdotes and prominent feelings is one of the hardest parts of writing a eulogy.

Try asking yourself the following questions to help with the process:

If you could only say 3 things about the deceased, what would they be?
Did they have any hobbies or interests that were dear to them?
What were the most prominent moments and achievements in their life?
Think about their personality, and what they meant to you

Remember, it is always possible to continue discussing your loved one’s life at a wake held after the funeral. If there is anything you wanted to say but didn’t get the chance to add in the eulogy, you may have the opportunity to give a second speech, or simply have a few words with friends and family.

Structure

There is no winning structure for a eulogy, and it can depend on the tone of voice you’ve settled on.

Popular eulogy structures include:

Telling the story of the deceased’s life with a beginning, middle and end
Begin by discussing the impact they left on people and finish with a meaningful poem
Tell several short stories that reflect your favourite moments with them
Recognise the significant people in their life

At Waters and Sons , we’re happy to offer advice on writing the perfect and fitting eulogy. Please contact us if you have need any assistance.

How to personalise a eulogy

A eulogy doesn’t have to follow traditional funeral etiquette, and can be whatever you want it to be. By personalising a eulogy, you’ll be able to create a more vivid picture of who your loved one was and what they meant to the people around them.

You could choose to:

Tell amusing stories from their life that evoke positive memories
Talk about their passions and talents
Recount the story of how they met their spouse or partner
Read an excerpt from their favourite poem, song or book
Give their loved ones the opportunity to say something during the eulogy

Finish with a Goodbye

A eulogy is often used as a way to say a last goodbye to your loved one, so it is commonplace to finish with a subtle farewell nod. This could be anything from saying the word ‘goodbye’ to ‘it’s been a pleasure knowing you’, or even using a humorous greeting that they were known for.

At Waters & Sons , we understand how overwhelming it can be to deal with the little touches at a funeral. That’s why we offer visual tributes that include slide shows, images and videos that help you pay tribute to your loved one in a more personalised way.

If you have recently suffered the loss of a loved one and require help or advice regarding planning their funeral, please feel free to contact us at any time.

If you require any more information on how Waters and Sons can support you through this trying time, feel free to contact us.

8 Ways to Personalise a Funeral

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 12:49:49 GMT

A funeral service is both a tribute to your loved one and a chance to help friends and family come to terms with their loss.

At Waters and Sons , we aim to help you create a balance between a highly respectful accolade and a personalised service that will lay your loved one to rest with the love and respect they deserve.

That’s why we’ve created a guide on some of the little things you can do to ensure their life and personality are truly honoured at their funeral.

Write a touching eulogy

A eulogy is the most common way of adding a personal touch to a funeral. It provides an opportunity to share their life events, personal anecdotes and discuss just how much they meant to the people in their life.

Decide whether the friends and family of the deceased or the departed would want the eulogy to be formal or lighthearted and this should inform any further decisions about what to include.

To create a truly personalised eulogy, you could:

Read an excerpt from their favourite poem or song
Read a quote from a book that meant a lot to them
Tell funny stories from their life that evoke positive memories
Speak with relatives and loved ones about their experience with the deceased
Include any hobbies, achievements or clubs they were a member of
Discuss their close relatives, or tell the story of how they met their spouse/partner
Talk about their passions and talents
Give their loved ones the opportunity to say something during the eulogy

Play a musical tribute

Music can be one of the most powerful tools to unlock emotions and memories, and it is therefore a vital element of personalising a funeral.

If your loved one was particularly humorous or liked to make people laugh, the funeral music is a great opportunity to reflect this; always Look on the Bright Side of Life by the Monty Python cast is a common choice of send off music.

To honour the departed, you could also play their favourite song, make the music grand and powerful or use a live band, choir or musician.

At Waters and Sons , we’re happy to accommodate any musical requests for the funeral service. We have created a list of the most popular funeral music to help you decide how best to honour your loved one.

Design orders of service

The order of service is usually handed out to mourners upon their arrival at the ceremony, and there are plenty of ways to represent your loved one’s personality using them.

Include beloved photos of your loved one
A personalised design that has something to do with them
The words to a poem, hymn or excerpt that meant a lot to them
Include a humorous quote that they were fond of
Choose a colour that isn’t the traditional white
Write a thank you note to the attendees

Waters and Sons will assist you with the design and layout of your order of service, and can fade and watermark images to suit your requirements. Alternatively, you can print your own design to make it entirely tailored and personalised.

Waters and Sons welcome all enquiries about how our funeral directors can help you.

Please feel free to contact us at any time to discuss funeral arrangements or talk about any concerns you may have.

Host a celebration of life

A celebration of life is a modern alternative to the traditional funeral service and is used to celebrate the time you spent with your loved one rather than mourn their loss. It can be held as an alternative to a funeral or as a separate ceremony that happens on a different day or as a wake.

A celebration of life could entail:

Holding a campfire gathering where loved ones share fond memories and humorous anecdotes
Taking a class together to attempt a hobby of the deceased. This could be anything from a painting or cookery class to a skydiving lesson
Hosting a party, such as a BBQ or dinner party
Embarking on a walk together
Attending a live music night
Planting a memorial tree as a group

Create personalised visual tributes

Although funerals have a traditional theme to mark respect for the deceased, it is not a requirement that you have to stick to, especially if you feel that your loved one’s life would be better honoured in other ways.

You could choose to:

Wear coloured clothing rather than black to brighten the day, or give mourners a colourful flower to wear as they enter.
Decorate the venue with colourful flowers rather than lilies.
Create a photo display that shows the deceased in their most cheerful moments.
Represent their livelihood by displaying their favourite musical instruments, items they knitted or painted, or any item they collected.

Waters and Sons want to help you say goodbye to your loved one through bespoke visual tributes.

Please feel free to contact us at any time to discover how we can personalise the funeral of your friend or relative.

Set up a memory table

In order to best pay tribute to your loved one, you could set up a memory table that includes photos, flowers or collectibles from their life.

A memory table can evoke strong memories and nostalgic feelings, and create an atmosphere of remembrance. This can aid the mourning process of the attendees.

Memory table ideas:

Chalk board where loved ones can leave messages about the deceased
A display surrounding a quote that they lived by
If they loved to read, create a display of their favourite books for mourners to browse, or even take home with them
Create a plant based display to symbolise life
If they loved to travel, you could leave open suitcases filled with polaroids of them on their travels
Use lights to illuminate the area and make it bright and joyful
Lay out medals, trophies and awards that they won

It can be best to make the memorial table simple to avoid overwhelming the mourners at the funeral.

Set up a memory table

It is becoming more common for people to request a theme for their funeral. This could be anything from celebrating a musical artist; a culture that inspired their life such as goth or antique; or an outdoors wedding to commemorate their love of nature.

Although having a fun or themed funeral isn’t to everyone’s tastes, it can be an incredible method of bringing people together in tribute.

Themed funerals don’t need to be dramatic, and can be as simple as asking people to wear extravagant hats or decorating the place of service with houseplants; whatever your loved one feels represents them best.

Usually, a theme for the funeral will be discussed by the deceased with loved ones or documented in their will. Although it may be difficult, discussing funeral plans with your loved one prior to their death can begin the process of gaining closure, and give them something to occupy them in their final days.

Waters and Sons welcome all enquiries about how our funeral directors can help you.

Please feel free to contact us at any time to discuss funeral arrangements or talk about any concerns you may have.

Hold a wake

A wake is a celebration that usually occurs in the hours following a funeral and gives you more flexibility than a funeral service. You could choose to hold it at a town hall, in a local park or even a pub.

This is a fantastic opportunity to let go of the sadness that surrounds the funeral service and create a positive environment to remember everything you cherished about your loved one.

Waters and Sons want you to be fully in control when planning a personalised funeral and that’s why we give you full autonomy over every detail including the hearse , coffin and little touches , as well as providing the option to turn your loved one’s ashes into keepsake jewellery with Ashes into Glass.

If you require any more information on how Waters and Sons can help honour your loved one through a personalised funeral, please feel free to contact us at any time to discuss funeral arrangements or talk about any concerns you may have.

Financial advice after a bereavement

Thu, 09 Jun 2022 14:38:19 GMT

An unexpected death can often place unnecessary financial strain on the family, but there are plenty of charities and governmental organisations that are able to offer help and advice during this difficult time.

To help take the weight off your shoulders, Waters and Sons have created this simple guide that explains how to seek financial advice and what you may be entitled to after a bereavement.

Bereavement Support Payments

If your wife, husband or civil partner dies you can claim up to 21 months of Bereavement Support Payments. You must claim within 3 months of their passing to be eligible.

You’ll get a lump sum payment and then up to 18 monthly installments following it. There are two separate rates that you could claim:

The higher rate applies if you are receiving or are entitled to Child Benefit. Claiming Bereavement Support Payment will not affect your benefits.

How to claim:

You can claim using the online form , by phone or online.

To apply, you’ll need:

Your National Insurance number
Your bank or building society account details
The date your partner died
Your partner’s National Insurance number

At Waters and Sons , we offer a 24 hour personal support service. Please feel free to contact us at any time for advice and guidance on financing your loved one’s funeral.

Child Benefit if a child or parent dies

You can claim Child Benefit for 8 weeks after your child dies.

If one or both parents die

If you become the main carer of a child after their parents have died, you may be able to get Child Benefit to help you cope with the extra expense.

To do this, you’ll need to:

Report the death to the Child Benefit Office as soon as possible. You can do this online, by post or over the phone
Make a new claim for Child Benefit

You may be entitled to Guardian’s Allowance or Widowed Parent’s Allowance on top of Child Benefit.

support visits

You may qualify for home visits from a DWP officer or charitable organisation to help you through your benefits claim. In certain circumstances, these visits can take place at a hospital.

You are eligible for support visits if:

You have complex needs
You’re disabled
You are a vulnerable young person
Have nobody else to support you
Can’t claim benefits without assistance

For these reasons, if you are deemed to require additional support, the DWP will advise you on how to proceed safely with your claim before the visit occurs.

At Waters and Sons , we offer a 24 hour personal support service. Please feel free to contact us at any time for advice and guidance on financing your loved one’s funeral.

Coping with debt after a loss

If the death of your loved one has left you in debt, there are organisations that are able to offer advice and guidance on how to manage the unexpected loss. Citizens Advice , National Debtline and Step Change exist to help you through this difficult time.

Help with funeral costs

Funerals can be expensive which is why the government offers Funeral Expenses Payments to those who struggle financially. This scheme allows you to pay the cost of your funeral in monthly instalments to give your loved one the tribute they deserve, and give you peace of mind.

Funeral Support Payment applies if you or your partner claim any of the following benefits:

Income Support
Income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance
Income-related Employment and Support Allowance
Pension Credit
Housing Benefit
The disability or severe disability element of Working Tax Credit
Child Tax Credit
Universal Credit

Funeral Expenses Payment will cover:

Burial fees and plot fees
Cremation fees, including the cost of the cremation certificate
Travel costs to and from the funeral
The cost of moving your loved one to the UK if they died abroad
Death certificates and other relevant documents

You can also claim up to £1000 to cover other funeral fees. Depending on your chosen service, this might not cover the full expense of the funeral. This payment will be paid directly to your bank account or the bank account of your funeral director.

Golden Charter Funeral Plans

Golden Charter Funeral Plans to give you exceptional value and choice over funeral expenses. Their schemes allow you to prepay for your funeral either in monthly instalments or all at once to give your family peace of mind after your death.

At Waters and Sons , we know that coping with debt and financial strain following a bereavement only adds unnecessary distress to the process and that’s why we offer 24 hour personal support.

If you require any more information on how Waters and Sons can support you through this trying time, feel free to contact us.

What Happens at a Burial Service?

Tue, 17 May 2022 00:15:01 GMT

Planning a burial service at such a difficult time in your life can be daunting, and often demanding.

Whether you’re planning a funeral for your loved one, or attending a burial for the first time, Waters and Sons have answered some of the most important questions about what to expect when laying your loved one to rest.

Where is a burial service held?

A burial service can be held at a churchyard, cemetary or other allocated burial site, as long as you have gained permission to use the area as a burial plot.

Your loved one will be taken to the place of burial once the funeral service has concluded and the burial service will resume from there.

What paperwork do I need for a burial?

In order for a burial service to take place, you will need:

A burial certificate. This is usually given directly to your funeral director, as they will need this to begin arranging the funeral
Burial plot application form

Your funeral director will guide you through the relevant processes to gaining this paperwork, as well as ensure it is issued to the correct people.

How long does a burial last?

Depending on the type of service and the wishes of the deceased’s family, a burial service can last anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour.

If this doesn’t feel like enough time to honour your loved one, there is always the opportunity to continue paying tribute to their life at a wake or reception service after.

At Waters and Sons , we provide 24 hour personal support. Please feel free to contact us at any time to discover how we can honour your loved one at their burial service.

What happens during A BURIAL service?

Funeral Service

A hearse will collect your loved one from your chosen funeral directors and drive their coffin or casket to the place of service. Pallbearers will then carry the coffin into the place of service. Depending on your wishes, you can either follow the pallbearers, be seated prior to their entry or ask to assist in carrying your loved one into the funeral.

After the mourners are seated, the service will begin and loved ones will be able to pay their respects with eulogies, poems and music.

The order of a funeral service can change depending on whether you have chosen a religious or personal ceremony.

Burial Service

Once the funeral service has concluded, your loved one will be taken to their place of burial along with their family.

Pallbearers will carry their coffin to the grave where it will be lowered after a few short words from your minister or chosen speaker.

It’s commonplace to scatter earth or flowers over the coffin once it has been lowered into the ground, followed by the placing of tributes near the grave. This traditionally symbolises the end of the funeral, but you can request to take part in filling the grave if you wish.

Waters and Sons know that arranging a burial service can be distressing. That’s why we offer 24 hour personal support. Feel free to contact us at any time for further advice.

Burial Plots

You will need to buy a burial plot for a burial service to occur. Your funeral director will talk you through any costs and other particulars involved in locating and buying a burial plot to lay your loved one to rest.

How to personalise a burial service

There are a number of things to consider when arranging a fitting burial service for your loved one, and the little touches are what make it a truly special tribute:

Display a photo of them at their happiest to honour their life through a joyful lens
Select a fitting musical tribute , floral display and coffin
Read a beloved poem or excerpt from a text they loved in their eulogy
Choose to collect donations for a charity of your loved one’s choice
Celebrate their life in the order of service
Choose a hearse that reflects their personality

Waters and Sons are here for you in your time of need. Feel free to contact us at any time to discuss funeral arrangements for your loved one.

What can you put in a coffin for a burial?

Popular items to put in a coffin for a burial include photographs, letters and soft toys, but provided the item fits in the coffin, you are free to bury your loved one with anything that was dear to them.

If you have any concerns about an item you wish to put in your loved one’s coffin, speak to your funeral director. We are here to guide you through the full process.

How much does a burial cost?

Waters and Sons offer 3 main funeral services:

No Service Funeral : (£1495)
Low Cost Funeral : (£2600)
Bespoke Funeral where you will receive a fully tailored funeral service.

Waters and Sons know that funerals can put an unexpected financial burden on families at a time when they are least emotionally equipped to cope with it. We offer flexible ways to pay for your funeral through Golden Charter so there’s one less thing for you to worry about.

To find out how Waters and Sons can help you pay tribute to your loved one at their burial service, feel free to contact us at any time. We are here to remove the burden from your shoulders.

What Happens at a Cremation Service?

Fri, 08 Apr 2022 12:45:15 GMT

Reports have shown that more people in England choose cremation instead of burial for their funeral, and yet planning or attending a cremation service for the first time can come with a lot of unknowns.

Waters and Sons know that planning a cremation while struggling with grief is a demanding and emotional process, so we have answered some of the most commonly asked questions about cremation services to guide you through the process.

Where is a cremation service held?

Cremation services can be held at a crematorium , town hall or chosen place of worship depending on your loved one’s wishes and will take place before the departed is cremated.

Local crematoria to Waters and Sons that offer memorials:

Southampton City Council Crematorium has a Garden of Remembrance where ashes and memorials can be placed.
Portchester Crematorium proudly protects your loved one’s memory in a book of remembrance.
The Oaks Havant Crematorium offers a vast range of memorial options, and will hold your loved one’s ashes for three months so you need not feel rushed to make a decision on how you wish to memorialise them.
Wessex Vale Crematorium will pay tribute to your loved one with anything from trees, benches and headstones.

If you have a specific preference for the memorial of your loved one, your funeral director will be able to advise you on local crematoria that offer this. Waters and Sons know our local crematoria and can contact them on your behalf.

What paperwork do I need for a cremation?

In order for a cremation to take place, you will require:

A cremation certificate, also known as a green form, that will be issued when you register the death
A cremation application to authorise the cremation

Your funeral director will guide you through the relevant processes to gaining this paperwork, as well as ensure it has been submitted to the correct authorities.

How long does a cremation service last?

Crematoriums can be very busy so most will allocate a 45 minute time slot for cremation services. If you want a longer service, you might need to consider delaying the funeral until your chosen crematorium is able to accommodate this.

Remember that 45 minutes is plenty of time to give eulogies and say goodbye to your loved one, and you can always continue paying tribute to them by organising a reception elsewhere. This will also give the family of the deceased additional time to reminisce and process their grief together.

Waters and Sons have compiled a list of local reception venues that accommodate wakes to make this part of the process a little easier.

At Waters and Sons , we provide 24 hour personal support. Please feel free to contact us at any time to discover how we can honour your loved one at their cremation service.

What happens during the cremation service?

It is common for a coffin to be positioned on a raised platform before the guests arrive at the crematorium, but it is possible to request that your loved one’s casket be carried in once everyone is seated. Orders of service will either be handed to guests on arrival or waiting on the seats.

After the mourners are seated, the service will begin and loved ones will be able to pay their respects with eulogies, poems and music.

The end of the cremation service is symbolised by the closure of curtains when guests can say goodbye and offer their condolences to the family of the deceased. If you have chosen to do so, the service will then continue at a wake or reception.

The order of a cremation service can change depending on whether you have chosen a religious or personal ceremony.

How to personalise a cremation service

There are a number of things to consider when arranging a cremation service, but the little touches are what make it a truly special tribute to your loved one:

Display a photo of them at their happiest to honour their life through a joyful lens.
Select a fitting musical tribute and floral display .
Read a beloved poem or excerpt from a text they loved in their eulogy.
Decide the clothes your loved one is cremated in.
Choose to collect donations for a charity of your loved one’s choice.
Celebrate their life in the order of service .
Choose their coffin - you can choose any design for a cremation but highly perishable materials such as wood or wicker would be better.

Waters and Sons know that arranging a cremation service can be distressing. That’s why we offer 24 hour personal support. Feel free to contact us at any time for further advice.

What can you put in a coffin for cremation?

Crematoriums will have their own regulations surrounding which items are allowed in the coffin before cremation but most will allow flowers, clothing, and wooden beads and toys. Anything that is put in the coffin will be removed before cremation and returned to the family.

Certain crematoriums will permit easily perishable items to remain in the coffin for the cremation, but only if it’s safe to do so.

Should you require further clarification regarding which belongings are accepted by your chosen crematorium, speak to them or ask your funeral director.

Can you have a memorial at the crematorium?

Most crematoria will offer memorial options on site, and these will differ depending on your choice of location.

Waters and Sons welcome all enquiries about our funeral services. Please contact us to explore cremation options for your loved one or discuss any concerns you’re having.

What happens to ashes after a cremation?

Your loved one’s ashes can either be placed in a box for burial or returned to your care in an ashes casket or scattering tube . You may then choose to display them in an urn or scatter them somewhere of significance in their life.

Ashes should be available to collect 2-3 days after the cremation service by whoever signed the cremation application. This will usually be the executor of the will or a funeral director.

Waters and Sons can also send your loved one’s ashes to Ashes into Glass to be set into a beautiful piece of jewellery of your choice so you can carry them with you forever.

How much does a cremation cost?

Waters and Sons local crematoria charge a fee of £575 to £670, and all costs will be managed by your funeral director for your ease.

Waters and Sons offer 3 main funeral services:

No Service Funeral : (£1495)
Low Cost Funeral : (£2600)
Bespoke Funeral where you will receive a fully tailored funeral service.

The cost of our No Service Funeral and Low Cost Funerals include cremation fees, and prices of cremation for Bespoke Funeral services will be added on to the final cost and broken down for you.

For further information regarding how Waters and Sons Funeral Directors can help pay fitting tribute to your loved one by guiding you through the cremation process, please feel free to contact us at any time.

Talking to Children about Bereavement

Mon, 14 Mar 2022 15:32:53 GMT

Discussing the loss of a loved one with a child is one of the most difficult conversations you will ever have, particularly if you were close to the departed and are still grieving yourself.

As a family run funeral directors, Waters and Sons Funeral Directors understands that explaining bereavement to the littlest members of the family is something that nobody wants to do. That is why we have tried to make the conversation less daunting by guiding you through the process.

Be Honest

It’s important to be honest and open when discussing bereavement with a child. Explain the situation using simple and plain language that is appropriate for their age.

You may wish to protect your child by using phrases like ‘they’re no longer with us,’ or ‘they’ve gone to a better place,’ but using fluffy phrases like this can actually confuse them. They may ask if their loved one will come back, or think they’ve done something wrong that caused their loved one to leave.

Instead, try to use the words ‘death’ and ‘died’ in your explanations because they will make the situation clearer, even if they do seem harsh.

Show your Emotions

It can seem natural to shield your child from your own grief by holding in your emotions, but it is actually far more beneficial to let your child see you grieve.

This will show them that it’s healthy to let out their emotions, and that it’s okay to feel sad when you lose someone. You may wish to explain to them what it is you’re feeling, and why you’re feeling that way. This can open an honest conversation, and encourage them to discuss their own reaction to the loss.

Give Plenty of Reassurance

Ensure that the child feels supported by explaining that they are not alone in their grief, and encourage them to ask questions.

Physical reassurance like a cuddle or a squeeze of the hand can show them that you’re there for them while they piece together their understanding of the loss.

Allow Them to Have an Emotional Reaction

When explaining the death of a loved one to a child, you should be prepared for an irrational reaction. It is very common for children to respond to news of death with anger, silence and even laughter.

Allow them to process the situation in any way they need to, and reassure them that it’s okay to respond that way.

Avoid using phrases like ‘they wouldn’t want you to be sad’, as this can encourage the child to hold in perfectly normal and rational feelings.

Set Clear Expectations

When a child loses a loved one, particularly if it’s a parent, there are likely to be major changes in their routine.

Let them know that these changes are coming and what they are. For example, explain that they might be living somewhere different, let them know by when, and how this will impact their life. Make sure to get confirmation from them, and ask how they feel about these changes, even if you are met with hostility.

Remember, this will be an incredibly confusing time for them, so they will likely respond to change with resistance, and take a while to settle into their new routine.

Check Their Understanding

You should always make sure to check in with the children at every stage of the conversation. Ask how they are feeling, and how they understand the conversation.

This gives you a chance to make sure they’ve absorbed what you’ve told them, and repeating things back to you may help them gain clarity on the loss.

Keep in mind that it’s okay for you to not always know the answers to their questions. This is likely an incredibly distressing time for you too, so take your time and don’t put pressure on yourself to respond to everything your child asks.

Seek Support

You don’t have to go through this alone. If you are unsure where to start, you can speak to a grief counsellor or a child bereavement service who can guide you through the process. This can be incredibly beneficial for you as they may offer you additional support through your grieving process.

Check in Regularly

Make sure that the child is managing their grief by asking how they feel on a regular basis, and reassuring them that it’s still okay to ask questions, even several weeks after the death.

Encourage them to continue talking about the person who died and discuss fond memories.

You should also take extra care to ensure they aren’t withdrawing from social activities or school and that they continue with their lives in the healthiest way possible.

Allow Them to Say Goodbye

It can be tempting to leave children out of the funeral because you may think it will be too confusing for them, but allowing them to say goodbye along with the family may provide them with a source of closure, a clearer understanding of the loss, and show them that their relative was loved.

You might wish to give them a role in the funeral, like reading a small poem, or placing flowers on the coffin. This will help them feel involved.

They may also want to help pick out the details for the funeral such as choosing the coffin , the flowers , or any other little touches that can give them a sense of purpose, but check that this is something they definitely want to do.

Make sure you prepare them for the funeral service; tell them exactly what will happen and what they’ll see, including the burial or cremation, so that nothing comes as a shock.

Waters and Sons understands how difficult it is to manage a grieving child whilst coming to terms with your own loss which is why we offer a 24 hour personal support service.

Please feel free to contact us at any time.

What to do When Someone Dies

Thu, 03 Feb 2022 15:05:02 GMT

Most of us never stop to consider what we would do if a loved one died.

It is easy to feel engulfed in the practicalities and legal processes that come hand in hand with suffering a loss.

Waters and Sons understand that this is a distressing and confusing time, and that is why we have put together a guide on the most important things you need to do when a loved one passes away.

What to do When Someone Dies at home

Report the Death

When someone dies at home, the first step is to contact the person’s doctor, or phone the NHS 111 helpline as the death needs to be confirmed by a medical professional. This will either be their personal doctor or an on-call doctor if they died at night. They will then issue a certificate detailing the cause of death, which you will need when the local surgery contacts you to register the loss.

Contact Your Funeral Director

Once the death has been confirmed, it is time to call your Funeral Director. We will be there to collect your loved one, and look after them until the funeral.

Your funeral director will also be able to advise you on which information you will need to register their passing.

Register the Death

The next step is to register the death with the registrar’s office most local to where your loved one died. This needs to be done within 5 days of the confirmation of death.

The registrar will give you a green form called The Registrar’s Certificate for Burial or Cremation, which you will need to pass on to your funeral director. This form will act as authorisation for them to collect your loved one from the hospital mortuary.

Any relative of the deceased can register the death. In the case that no relatives are available then the responsibility falls to someone who was present at the death, or whoever is responsible for the funeral such as a funeral director or the council.

Waters and Sons have put together a list of registrars local to us to make this step of the process just a little bit easier for you.

Once the death has been reported, and your loved one is in the safe hands of your funeral director, you will be able to begin the process of arranging the funeral.

At Waters and Sons, we provide 24 hour personal support. Please feel free to contact us at any time to find out how we can help.

What to do When Someone Dies in Hospital

When someone dies in hospital, the doctor will issue the medical certificate for cause of death immediately, and contact the next of kin.

Register the Death

The first step for you when a loved one dies in hospital is to register the death with the registrar’s office local to where your loved one died. This needs to be done within 5 days of the medical certificate being issued.

The registrar will give you a green form called The Registrar’s Certificate for Burial or Cremation, which you will need to pass on to your funeral director.

Contact Your Funeral Director

Your loved one will be kept in the hospital mortuary until your funeral director can collect them. This can be done at any time, but contacting your funeral director sooner will provide you with additional support through this confusing time. It will also reassure you that your loved one is being taken care of.

At Waters and Sons, we provide 24 hour personal support. Please feel free to contact us at any time to find out how we can help.

What to do When Someone Dies in Care?

When someone dies in a care home, the staff will be responsible for contacting the person’s doctor to confirm the death. The doctor will issue a medical certificate that details the cause of death. The care home will then contact the individual’s next of kin, and give them the opportunity to see their loved one before a funeral director is contacted.

Contact Your Funeral Director

Care home staff will usually help you choose and phone a Funeral Director as they are aware this will be a difficult time for you.

Your funeral director will soon be there to collect your loved one, and take care of them until the funeral.

Register the Death

The next step is to register the death with the registrar’s office most local to where your loved one died. This needs to be done within 5 days of the confirmation of death.

The registrar will give you a green form called The Registrar’s Certificate for Burial or Cremation, which you will need to pass on to your funeral director.

Once this certificate is in your possession, you will be able to start arranging your loved one’s funeral.

At Waters and Sons, we provide 24 hour personal support. Please feel free to contact us at any time to find out how we can help.

What to do When Someone Dies Abroad?

When someone dies abroad, the stress of trying to get your loved one back home can make the bereavement even tougher. But if you know which authorities to call, it can make the process a lot easier.

Report the Death

Deciding who to contact when a loved one dies abroad depends on whether or not you are with them.

If you are abroad with the person who has died, you will need to contact the local British Embassy. If you are still in the UK, then your first point of contact will be the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. These authorities will advise you of your next steps.

Register the Death

In the case of someone dying abroad, the death must be registered in the country where they died, as well as with the Foreign and Commonwealth Office.

If you are registering the death, you will need information about the deceased including:

Full name
Date of birth
Passport number
When and where the passport was issued
Details of their next of kin

Repatriation

If you have decided to bring your loved one back to the UK, then you will need to register their death with the registrar’s office closest to where the funeral will take place.

Repatriation can take up to 15 days, and be fairly expensive. You may want to check whether your relative’s travel insurance or life insurance policies covered repatriation costs.

In order to return your relative to the UK, you will need:

A death certificate that has been translated into English.
A certificate of embalming.
Authorisation to remove the body from the country of death.

The British Consul or an international undertaker will be able to guide you through this process.

Once your loved one has returned to the UK, there are further steps to follow.

The death should be reported to a coroner.
The death certificate will need to be presented to the registry office nearest to the location of the funeral.
In the case of cremation, you will require a Home Office cremation order.

You can only start funeral arrangements after all of the above have been obtained, but your funeral director will be able to guide you through the remaining process.

At Waters and Sons, we provide 24 hour personal support. Please feel free to contact us at any time to find out how we can help.

What Happens if the Death Was Unexpected?

If a person dies unexpectedly, then the death will be reported to a coroner. A coroner is a government official who is responsible for conducting an inquest into the cause of unexpected deaths. They will be contacted by a medical professional or police officer, so there is no need to worry about doing this yourself.

If the death needs to be investigated, then your loved one will be taken to a hospital mortuary, and your funeral director will be able to collect them once it has concluded.

If this is the case, a funeral cannot occur until the investigation is concluded, but funeral arrangements can still go ahead, and your funeral director will be able to offer any additional support that you need during this time.

Waters and Sons understand that an unexpected death can be especially confusing.

This is why we have a 24 hour support service for our customers. Feel free to contact us regarding any queries.

Arranging the Funeral

Once all the legal stuff is out of the way and your loved one is safely in the care of your funeral director, you will be able to begin planning the funeral.

Waters and Sons are aware that arranging a funeral is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. This is why we have created a guide on some of the most important things you will need to know when starting the funeral planning process.

What Happens to a Person’s Bank Account When They Die?

A person’s bank account will usually be left in the hands of an executor. The executor is often appointed before death and named in the individual’s will. This can be a blood relative, spouse, or a trusted friend. They are responsible for the deceased’s estate and assets.

When a person dies, their executor must contact their bank with proof of death, as well as their loved one’s will, to prove their relationship to the deceased. The bank will then freeze the account.

After this, the executor will need to ask for the funds to be released to meet the intentions of the will, and will have to provide a Grant of Probate in order to do so.

The executor will also need to contact the deceased’s pension service to cancel further payments. Their spouse or civil partner might be entitled to any remaining payments, but this will be explained further by the pension provider.

Who is the next of kin when someone dies?

When an executor hasn’t been named, the responsibility of arranging a funeral and managing the individual’s estate falls to the next of kin.

The next of kin will be the most immediate blood relative of the deceased, or a spouse or civil partner. It is likely that the next of kin will need to apply for probate in order to legally manage their loved one’s estate.

Tackling Grief

It is important to remember not to get caught up in the practicalities, and to give yourself time to address your grief.

Coping with grief is the most difficult part of the process, as there is no easy fix to cope with loss. The most important things to remember in this process are to express how you are feeling, keep looking after your health, and talk to your friends and family. They may also be suffering a similar experience, and will be as grateful as you are for the company.

You might not know what to say when someone dies, but it is always important to say something.

At Waters and Sons, we have put together a few ideas on how to cope with grief to make the pain a bit more bearable. We have also created a list of Hospital Bereavement Offices near us that can offer practical advice regarding the death of a loved one.

Extra Support

At Waters and Sons , we understand that dealing with the practicalities of loss while suffering a bereavement is a difficult process, and that is why we offer 24 hour personal support.

If you require any more information on how Waters and Sons can help honour your loved one, please feel free to contact us at any time to discuss our funeral services or talk about any concerns you may have.

Arranging A Funeral: A Guide

Thu, 13 Jan 2022 15:08:25 GMT

There are a lot of things to take into consideration, and at Waters and Sons , we understand that while suffering the loss of a loved one, these decisions can seem overwhelming.

Below are a few of the most important things that you need to know when beginning the funeral planning process.

Who Has the Right to Make Funeral Plans?

The executor/s will often be appointed before death and named in the individual’s will, and is usually a blood relative, spouse, or trusted friend. It is commonplace for them to also be responsible for covering funeral costs, and be legally responsible for any assets, or estate, left behind.

If an executor has not been appointed, then the responsibility of planning the funeral falls to the deceased’s legal next of kin.

If you have been named as the executor of your loved one, then the easiest next step for you will be to contact a funeral director for further advice and support during this difficult time.

At Waters and Sons, we provide 24 hour personal support.

Please feel free to contact us at any time to discuss funeral arrangements or talk about any concerns you may have.

How Long Does It Take To Arrange A Funeral?

In most cases, it should take 1-2 weeks to arrange a funeral, but this entirely depends on the individual circumstances. For example, if an investigation needs to be taken into the death, then the process can take much longer. Likewise, if friends and family are not available, then you might wish to postpone the service until all loved ones are able to say their goodbyes.

How Much Does a Funeral Cost?

On average, funerals in the UK cost between £4000 to £5000, but depending on the service you want for your loved one, it can cost much more, or much less.

The first thing to consider when budgeting for a funeral is whether or not your loved one left any money to cover the costs. This will probably be outlined in their will. They may have a life insurance policy that will pay a lump sum to a beneficiary of their choosing to cover funeral expenses.

If you are struggling to cover the cost of the funeral, then there are plenty of places that can offer financial support during this time, although many funeral directors will offer loans and low cost services.

At Waters and Sons, we have three main funeral services available:

No Service Funeral : (£1495)
Low Cost Funeral : (£2600)
Bespoke Funeral where you will receive a fully tailored funeral service.

Click here to access Waters and Sons monthly loan calculator.

What Does a Funeral Director Do?

A funeral director is there to assist with the full process of planning the perfect tribute to your loved one. From deciding whether you wish to have your loved one buried or cremated, to choosing the best musical salute , your funeral director will be by your side every step of the way.

We understand how difficult it is to tackle funeral arrangements during the grieving process, so we are here to hold your hand and guide you in a professional and empathetic manner.

Waters and Sons welcome all enquiries about how our funeral directors can help you.

Please feel free to contact us at any time to discuss funeral arrangements or talk about any concerns you may have.

The Particulars

There are a number of little things to consider when planning a funeral for your loved one, some of which are more obvious than others:

The flowers and music that will pay tribute to your loved one.
The hearse that will take your loved one to the burial site or crematorium .
The coffin or casket that you wish to lay your loved one to rest in.
How to represent your loved one in their order of service .

These are all personal choices that will help to express your loved one’s life and personality. Your funeral director will be there to give you extra advice on all the other ‘ Little Touches ’ that will make the service even more special.

Things to Consider When Planning a Funeral

On our Planning a Funeral page, Waters and Sons has compiled a list of things to consider before contacting your funeral director to make the process smoother, as well as give you peace of mind while you come to terms with your loss. This will also give yourself, as well as them, a better understanding of how you want to pay tribute to your loved one.

Extra Support

At Waters and Sons , we understand that planning a funeral whilst suffering a bereavement is a difficult process, and that is why we offer 24 hour personal support.

If you require any more information on how Waters and Sons can help honour your loved one, please feel free to contact us at any time to discuss funeral arrangements or talk about any concerns you may have.

What to wear to a funeral

Wed, 05 May 2021 22:59:41 GMT

What to wear to a funeral

Here at Waters & Sons Funeral Directors , we understand that deciding what to wear to a funeral can be a difficult choice. It is a general rule that those attending a funeral should wear smart attire that is respectful and conservative. This isn’t the case for every funeral service and depends on the plans of the individual. Within this blog post, we will answer some of the most asked questions regarding what to wear to a funeral service.

Do I need to wear black to a funeral?

Black has been worn by guests at funerals for years and is a sign of mourning and respect for those who have passed. For contemporary funerals, black isn’t the only colour that should be worn as dark shades of clothing are acceptable.

Your attire should not draw any attention towards you and you should respect that the service is about the family and the person who has passed.

Some modern funerals like to incorporate a specific colour into the service. At the request of some families, you may be asked to wear the favourite colour of the person that has passed. For example, all guests who attend a service may be asked to wear a single piece of bright clothing such as a yellow tie or pink shoes as a sign of remembrance.

Do you have to wear a suit to a funeral?

The traditional funeral dress for men at funerals is a suit. You should wear a plain long-sleeved, buttoned white shirt to the service.

Ensure that you keep your suit jacket on throughout the service as this is a sign of respect to the person who has passed. Your shoes should be dark in colour, clean and well polished to show that you have put some effort into your appearance.

Do I have to wear a tie to a funeral?

Wearing a tie to a funeral service is a common practice and if you can it should be black, however, a dark shade tie is acceptable to wear to modern funerals.

If you have been asked to complete a reading or tribute at the service or even be a pallbearer, you could ask the funeral director if there is a particular dress code that you need to adhere to.

Can I wear navy to a funeral or memorial service?

Navy and grey can be worn by guests to a funeral or memorial service. The family members and close friends to the person who has passed should wear black as well as the memorial service director.

What should men wear to a funeral?

This is a question that is frequently asked and here at Walters & Sons Funeral Directors, we have a list that you can consult for acceptable to wear to a funeral or memorial service.

Dark or black suit
Collared white long-sleeved shirt
Plain black/dark tie
Polished black/dark shoes
What is acceptable for women to wear to a funeral?
The traditional funeral attire for women at memorial services include the following clothing.
Dark coloured clothing
Plain blouse
Blazer
Dark cardigan
Smart shoes or heels

All clothing should be respectable and if you decide to wear a skirt or a dress it should be of a respectable length to avoid your attire being deemed inappropriate or revealing. Footwear should be appropriate and you should consider the weather, setting and if you will be attending the service graveside.

What should a child wear to a funeral?

If a child is required to attend a funeral, the dress code is not as rigid as it is for adults. Children should wear attire that is respectful, plain (where possible) and clean.

Children should wear clothing that is appropriate for attendance to a place of worship but the importance of attire for children is primarily based on them looking clean, presentable and neat.

What shouldn’t I wear to a funeral?

Attending a memorial service or funeral is a way to show respect to the deceased and to the family members of those that have passed. With this in mind, we have collated a list of inappropriate attire that you shouldn’t wear at memorial service to show respect.

Flip flops or trainers
Revealing outfits
Jeans
Cap or hat
Printed / Slogan T-Shirt
Excessive amounts of jewellery
Colourful ties (unless it has been requested by the family)

Here at Walters & Sons Funeral Directors, we are on hand to help take the stress and discomfort away from planning a memorial or funeral service. We can help you to plan a funeral and our family run service will be the friendly and informative source that will provide comfort during your difficult time of need.

Here at Waters & Sons Funeral Directors , our personal, dedicated family run funeral services , based in Southampton, is on hand to care for your family throughout the whole process, offering expert help and advice , 24 hours a day. Whether you’re planning a funeral , searching for a high-quality coffin , or needing funeral service advice , you can count on us.

How to deal with grief

Sun, 31 Jan 2021 17:33:12 GMT

How to deal with grief

The loss of a loved one can be difficult to process, as there’s no way of ‘fixing’ the grieving feeling. You can’t wish it away, or can you fast forward through it, as much as you may want to. Feelings of immense grief do get less frequent as time passes, however, there will always be a part of you that is still grieving, despite the time passed.

That’s why, here at Waters & Sons Funeral Directors , we’ve put together a few ideas, and small actions, that could make the pain a little more bearable, while providing a sense of comfort during a challenging time.

Express how you feel

Psychologists have long encouraged expressing how you feel. It’s essential you find a way to identify, and accept, how you are feeling. You don’t even have to share with another person, it can be as simple as emptying your feelings onto a journal page. However, if you do feel comfortable talking about your grief with a friend or family member, it can be very beneficial in reducing the intensity of your emotions. Bottling up your emotions can be damaging to your mental health.

Look after yourself

Grief can play havoc with your physical health, it can cause disrupted sleep, loss of appetite, and general feelings of nausea. While you can’t help the natural feelings associated with grief, sleeping when you can, and eating well regularly will give you more strength to deal with your emotions.

Join a support group or community

Support groups can be a great place to share feelings. Meeting people who understand what you’re going through can make you feel less alone. Contact a bereavement organisation, or give us a call, to help find a group close to you.

Take up a new activity or revisit a hobby

Finding a hobby, or activity that you can invest your time in can be a rewarding way to distract yourself from your feelings. Creative crafts, sports or arts will provide a sense of achievement, while stimulating positive emotions in your brain, that keep you healthy.

A fter losing someone special to you, you can lose enthusiasm, and joy for things you once enjoyed. When you’re ready, returning to hobbies will help with the healing process, as you find enjoyment in the small things again.

Keep to a routine

For many, a routine provides a sense of structure, and security in an uncertain, and unnatural time. Having weekend plans, and a structured week can help. It gives your life purpose, structure and clarity, as you learn to cope with your grief.

Keep social with friends

Grieving can be an isolating experience. While it’s natural to once be alone, maintaining your social network can provide you with the support and guidance you need. Schedule a phone call, or meet up with a close friend. Most importantly, don’t feel guilty for having fun, it’s completely okay, and exactly what your loved one would want for you.

Remembrance

Dealing with your grief does not mean blocking out memories of your loss. People often find comfort in finding ways to keep their loved one’s memory alive. Keeping special possessions, or a photo album of memories, is a great way to celebrate their life. Ensuring they hold a place in your heart, and life.

Christmas 2019

Fri, 10 Jan 2020 19:47:39 GMT

Christmas 2019 - (St Marys Christmas Fayre)

During the Christmas period we were delighted to donate a beautiful festive bouquet made up in whites and golds by Copper Box (a local independent florist that we work with) representing Waters and Sons brand colours for St Mary’s Christmas Fayre held 30th November, we were told that the bouquet was a resounding success and people were very keen to win it!

As well as donating the festive bouquet we were also delighted to sponsor the Christmas lights for the village.

Waters & Sons Attend Countess Mount Batten Fun Day

Fri, 06 Sep 2019 14:06:06 GMT

Waters & Sons Helps to raise money for Countess Mount Batten.

Waters & Sons Funeral Directors was delighted to help Countess Mount Batten on Sunday 1st September to raise money.

Countess Mount Battens Fun day was held Highbridege Community Farm. From 10am until 3pm.

So many Great Stalls attended to help raise money.

We decided we'd run a competition on 'HOW MANY BALLOONS WAS IN THE LIMOUSINE'

So Many Close Guesses.

Winner have been picked and contacted.

Follow this space for a post on the winners.